It's My F---ing Birthday

It s My F ing Birthday In the coming year she said hoisting her blindingly clean and gleaming glass into the air may half of all your dreams come true Mom I said to her isn t that kind of pathetic Well it s realistic

  • Title: It's My F---ing Birthday
  • Author: Merrill Markoe
  • ISBN: 9780375507120
  • Page: 170
  • Format: Hardcover
  • In the coming year, she said, hoisting her blindingly clean and gleaming glass into the air, may half of all your dreams come true Mom, I said to her, isn t that kind of pathetic Well, it s realistic It s her thirty sixth birthday, and she really thought things would be different this year that she d have figured out men and how to get along with her narcissis In the coming year, she said, hoisting her blindingly clean and gleaming glass into the air, may half of all your dreams come true Mom, I said to her, isn t that kind of pathetic Well, it s realistic It s her thirty sixth birthday, and she really thought things would be different this year that she d have figured out men and how to get along with her narcissistic parents enough to survive a birthday celebration But nothing s changed Her disappointing day is capped off by the delivery of a huge bouquet of flowers from Carl, with whom she has recently, and bitterly, split A gesture of reconciliation Of passive aggression She s too unhinged to tell.It s My F ing Birthday unfolds in seven state of my life addresses this hapless high school art teacher writes to herself on consecutive birthdays, as she is determined to break the patterns of behavior that are keeping her down Her objective to avoid making the same mistakes over and over and start making some new ones Through seven outrageously funny years of needling parents, self absorbed boyfriends, riots, O.J and Monica and bigger and bigger bouquets from Carl she navigates a circuitous and ultimately successful route to happiness in a world where everything seems to conspire to the contrary.What I Learned This Year That I Need to Remember1 No taking the bait from Mom Even if the fight becomes about not taking the bait 2 No dwelling in the past 3 Try much harder to continue being a vegetarian This will limit the restaurants the folks can take me to 4 No trying to decode the flowers from Carl If he sends them again, just think of them as a fun, free thing, like a little sample box of cereal or detergent that suddenly appears in the mailbox 5 Don t make a big deal out of the fact that there were no guys this year Perhaps that s a better thing than continuing to get involved with guys who exhibit behavior from the beginning that indicates the whole thing is completely hopeless So try to remember the above as a coping strategy when I am so crazed with horniness that I want to throw myself off a building 6 No mumbo jumbo This means no calling 900 astrology numbers listed at the end of horoscopes in women s magazines to find out my love forecast And no going to psychics, no matter how dicey things get.

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    About "Merrill Markoe"

    1. Merrill Markoe

      An author, a television writer and a sometime standup comedienne.


    1. This book was okay; fast, some funny lines, a believable character, but it doesn't really go anywhere. Nonetheless, I'm giving it an extra star due to the story of how it came into my life. I picked it up at Goodwill (my preferred bookstore), and when I went to checkout, the cashier took a look at the title."Is this pronounced 'fing,' this word?" she asked. Stunned, I stammered, "It'sa bad word"She kept pressing -- "If you don't tell me, I'll never learn!" -- until, blushing, I finally said, "It [...]

    2. This book had so much promise in the beginning but it was wasted on a protagonist who doesn't change, doesn't grow, and doesn't ever learn from her mistakes. She's supposed to be in her 30s/40s but the entire novel reads like she's in her teens/20s with the amount of annoying drama she deals with. She has absolutely no spine which I get is the point of her issues, but if a book ends with the protagonist having never grown or changed from who they were at the outset, that is a HUGE red flag/no-no [...]

    3. "Well, it's my fucking birthday again. One year ago today I remember being so sure that this was the year everything would turn around. I could sense it. I could feel it in the air. But here I am, a full year later, just as screwed up as ever, still making the same mistakes over and over. So I am initiating a new tradition. My plan is to carefully scrutinize my past in the name of not being condemned to repeat it by writing myself an annual report on my birthday. Kind of a personal state of the [...]

    4. First off, I loved the title! It was the first thing that grabbed me. Then it all just hits you with this morbid and candid humor. The book basically chronicles every birthday since her thirties. Everybody knows birthdays are depressing. The parents are so arrogant and critical. Who wouldn’t want to hang themselves? And why would the ex-boyfriend send flowers? Weird.The nameless narrator explains all the misery in her life and the mistakes she hopes to avoid in the coming years. At times, her [...]

    5. It's a quick read, with some genuinely funny/witty bits. It's enjoyable, but very flawed. The characters are one-dimensional and we never spend enough time with the likable ones to actually feel very fulfilled by them. When we do spend any time with a character, it's inevitably someone awful. The protagonist/narrator is likable enough, and funny, but she doesn't grow all that much considering the book spans 7 years of her life. Her growth seems rushed and slapped on, not authentic. I get the fee [...]

    6. Oh my. This was supposed to be a humor book (I think) about a woman in her 30s/40s who writes a letter to herself on every birthday for 7 years, and tries to impart wisdom to her future self via these letters. The whole book is about her tortured relationship with her hypercritical parents, and her long string of unsuccessful relationships with men.Like I said, I think the book was supposed to be funny, but to me the humor was pretty weak (the author, by the way, was a writer for the David Lette [...]

    7. Given the title, I thought this book was going to be hilarious. It did have a lot of funny parts, but really it was triggering for me because I could relate to the narrator too well. Her parents are self-centered, neurotic and mean, and offer zero nurturing and support. In fact, they seem to demand an apology from her for even needing it from them.When a person doesn't get these things from the very people who are supposed to provide them unconditionally, that person tends to stumble through lif [...]

    8. It is easy to see why Merrill Markoe was the head writer for the David Letterman Show. She has such a wonderful way with wry humor and wit. I loved this book as we traveled through birthdays with the narrator and her unbelievably atrocious celebrations. I could sympathize and relate to the characterizations of her mother to some degree most women will be able to do that, although I take no pride in the fact that I understood it in the extreme.At the beginning of this book, the narrator seems ove [...]

    9. I’ve told writers, “Know your audience.” But we should also tell audiences of fiction, “Know your book.” Someone else wrote about this story that it/the protagonist was depressing. No! It’s a delight! But maybe that’s just for those who can appreciate the humor as found in her situations. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this book, read, as a never-married, during the week before and after my 41st birthday. Thus, I giggled and groaned right along with the ma [...]

    10. I picked up this book thinking it would be funny. It started out well enough with the first line being, "Well, it's my fucking birthday." Cool, it is what it says on the ten.I was prepared for the horrible awkwardness the narrator has to deal with. Horrible parents, worse relationships, unhappiness with her life in general. Okay, this is amusing and what I more or less expected.But then the mom died and it just go really depressing really fast. The narrator keeps making the same old mistakes and [...]

    11. When I first began this novel I couldn't help but laugh-out-loud. I could completely understand where the narrator was coming from. What girl/woman hasn't over analyzed a situation? Now, to the point of looking up the meaning of individual flowers, I'm not sure, but I got the point --we tend to over think simple gestures or situations.It's My F---ing Birthday is a fun and easy read but after reading 75% of it, I started getting tired of the continued drama that never seemed to resolve. I felt th [...]

    12. I received this book for - surprise - my 40th birthday, and I waited until I was 41 to read it. Which totally fits in with the tone of the book. Merill Markoe (former Letterman writer) is extremely funny and this book, told in diary format, will appeal to any woman who has crossed any age landmark (25, 30, 40) and faces the pressures that our family and society put upon us. Her family stories are hilarious and her attempts at love are both funny and heartbreaking. This book is short and makes fo [...]

    13. I re-read this one after ten years. Still funny. The second reading was only slightly less interesting because I knew the ending. I read straight through the whole thing in two sittings. I was hooked by a lot of commonalities in my own life. Like a typical girl, she over-analyzes everythingke "He sent me flowers what does that mean? Ok they are white flowers, and I looked it up online and that means a truce so is he saying he wants to get over our differences and be friends?" (That wasn't a quot [...]

    14. What a quick read! This book is witty and light. The main character, whose name remains a mystery, has the worst relationship with her parents and even more unlucky romantic relationships. Her hijinx, though brief, are comical. This story isn't going to change your life, but it is a nice way to spend a weekend.**Disclaimer** This review comes from a person about 10 years too young to relate to the main character, so it's entirely possible that I would have gotten more out of the book if I was 10 [...]

    15. I have read a few other reviews of this book, and I find that I agree with them - this book doesn't really "go" anywhere or accomplish much. I found the premise of the book interesting - a chapter written on each birthday - but after a few years of the same horrible birthday with the author's manipulative parents and no real action to change her life, I began to feel depressed for the author and had to put the book down and move on to better and more inspiring authors. I think I had hoped I had [...]

    16. This book did not seem to have a plot (which fine, as long as it entertains me, but it didn't). The main character is unlikable. Her parents are ridiculous. Most of the characters are not three dimensional. All in all, this book that MAY have been intended to be funny, was just depressing and badly written. The best part about it was the title. I would not recommend this to friends, even if we had opposite taste in books . and honestly, I'm not sure why I rated it a 2 instead of a 1 (but I'm not [...]

    17. As a stand alone this is a great, funny, yet at the same time devastatingly depressing look at someone who grew with crazy narcissistic parents who take each successful birthday to remind her of her miserable failings.But anyone who has read Markoe's blog or other books knows that this work of "fiction" is only thinly veiled snipets of her actual life and relationships. The Pshyco-Ex Game is a better version of this that uses a lot of the same material. Although this book focuses more on the rel [...]

    18. this was a splurge buy because it was a week before my birthday and i couldn't resist such a perfect title and thankfully it was a great choice. very funny and straight to the point. also such a clever way to frame the storyline, by using new year's type resolution letters to document her lovelife and family drama but done on every birthday, starting age 36. it made me feel so much better about my parents and was just a great light read.

    19. This book was entertaining. The way in which is was presented - as a series of letters - reminded me of things like Dear Mr. Henshaw. I liked that the wry humor. You could actually see the main character grow throughout the years - until she became kind of crazy when stalking the exes of a boyfriend. I was so hopeful for her until then. But by the end, even though she was in the same situation as in the beginning, you could see how she was happier.

    20. A thirty-something high school art teacher writes her personal state of the union address on her birthday, assessing the current status of her life. This book covers 7 years, and the horror of what this special day has become.Merrill Markoe is an Emmy award winning writer for the Dave Letterman show. A coworker reccommended one of her more recent books focusing on her dogs, and I found this book by her at my library. Quick and easy read, very funny.

    21. This book, which I finished in its entirety was a very cute, quick read but had very little to no substance. The writing style is humorous, and I laughed exactly once. The book takes place in a formula, with each chapter being devoted to a birthday. The main character has an encounter with her parents, gets a bad gift, tells a story or two about a bad guy she dated, then it starts over again in the next chapter. I'd recommend this book if you are on a red eye flight.

    22. While there are some serious parts to the book, this is really a light, fluffy read, from a woman in her late 30's thru early 40's with relationship issues. A good beach book. Each entry is on her birthday, reviewing the good and bad of the year, and usually having a meal with her parents where they belittle her, and don't understand why she gets upset with them. Not much substance, but sometimes that's what you want.

    23. A sarcastic, hysterical peek into a womans life through the years. Making a state of address on her birthday, she points out all of her dating woes, the tyranny that is her parents, the quizzical floral arrangements she keeps getting from her ex and her continuous fight to not fall into The Hole.I quite enjoyed this one, a rather quick read, page after page offering some laugh out loud moments. A character we probably all know, Markoes book made me smile.

    24. The nameless art teacher in this first novel by Markoe, former head writer for David Letterman, writes an essay on each of her birthdays, starting with the 36th. The essays are her annual reports, to keep track of her profits and losses. Typical observations are: "One great thing I have noticed about living all by myself: All of my annoying habits seem to have disappeared." And "When you have never loved at all, at least you have enough attention span left to get some reading done"

    25. There’s nothing particularly profound about It’s My F------ Birthday, but since it’s only 200 pages long, it’s not a huge commitment of your time. So if you’re looking for a fun read, with some great comic lines (the author, Merrill Markoe, was once the head writer for David Letterman) and a couple of shrewd observations about how women react to the approach of the dreaded 40thbirthday and beyond, then look no further.

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